BEEF LIP'Z: The Swollen Time, The Crying of the Moons, and The Edge
by buttbumbottomreartushtuchis
Summary: The BEEF LIP'Z marmosets go on adventures.
1. Chapter 1

Starfarts was just leaving after one of her BEEF LIP'Z concerts to go get Taco Bell when it happened. The greatest theing that have ever happened to her ever in her life entirely. She ran face first with a loud 'SPLAP!' into someone.

"O-Oh fecescarp. I am so so sorry."

"It's alright! I love your band! Can you autograph my face."

"Yeh." Thyen she autographed his face with Sharpire, "do ypu wanbt the other to sign you too?" she asked.

"N-No... just you."

Starfarts would have been creeped out becayusr she usualy hates creepy fury fanboys, but Digby was her secret fury crush. She watcheded all of his videos and had a poster of him between her weird al poster and her squid sister poster. her maga hat and meta knight plushies sat on a pedestal to the left of the digby poster. her room literaly was creepy kind of. She had a few more picture of digby stored away prety much evertywhere. Even her kazoo had digby drawed on it. she comisioned the art frum sparklespew(BUY ART FRUM HER BTW!1!11)

So sghe was happy/ "Digby..."

"ye."

"you want to go taco bell together"

"lets shall"

"indubitrraiullly"

then they got there.

"food is good here"

"i see banabas when i look in your eyes."

"oh starfarts, id shower you in coconut cream pies."

"my main monkey, lets go to anthrocon on fridau."

"wha..."

starfarts get s to go to everuything for free because BEEFG LIP'Z is so succesful.

"Starfarts, I dont want to hgo there. its baf."

"oh..."

"but ill do it for you, my main monkey."

"Aww!"

then they pranced of into the sun set.

Author's Note:

I guess I'm writing BEEF LIP'Z fanfiction now. What has my life come to?

Ah, well. I have no reputation anyway. In case you're reading this, DigbyTheGoat, none of this is true, I promise! Also your special guest appearance in my "All The Single Furries" MAP was supposed to be a bizarre sort of thanks for being one of the few relatively sane furries; I thought you might find it amusing. I was by no means implying that you're a single furry!


	2. Chapter 2

Starfarts finished packing. Ever since her Meta Knight plush, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Starfarts had been insane.

There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing kicked her, all was annoying. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going under her Weird Al shrine to become a single-furry Sparklespew.

Just then, there was a dead inside knock at the door. Starfarts opened it and stood there beautifully for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her derriere.

When Starfarts came to, her Meta Knight plush was holding his spleen and looking groovy. "My love," her Meta Knight plush said beautifully, "I'm sorry for the spiffy shock. I've been shipwrecked on a depressed island for the last ten years, living like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er all the land, bringing joy to all the world, as the marmosets pranced around gleefully, all was right with the world.. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my backside in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Starfarts could hardly believe her her Meta Knight plush had returned. "I will always love you, backside or no backside. Besides, you can cover it up with a kazoo."

They embraced beautifully and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was totally tubular.


	3. Chapter 3

parklespew (Sage) was thinking about Blech (Dingospleen) again. Blech was a peculiar friend with scrawny tuchis and grubby derriere.

Sparklespew walked over to the window and reflected on her dank surroundings. She had always loved greasy Pittsburgh, home of Anthrocon with its fierce, faithful feces on the ground. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel depressed.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather some _one_. It was the a peculiar figure of Blech (Dingospleen).

Sparklespew gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was an energetic, optimistic, Mtn. Dew in a glove imported-from Manor Care drinker with fragile tuchis and fluffy derriere. Her friends saw her as a wide-eyed, whispering Wolfwrath OC. Once, she had even helped an attractive old baby bird lady recover from a flying accident.

But not even an energetic person who had once helped an attractive old baby bird lady recover from a flying accident, was prepared for what Blech had in store today.

The clouds danced like chatting ibises, making Sparklespew sparkly. Sparklespew grabbed an enchanting Nintendo Switch that had been strewn nearby; she massaged it with her fingers.

As Sparklespew stepped outside and Blech came closer, she could see the sweet smile on his face.

Blech gazed with the affection of 2068 bold evil emus. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want her tuchis."

Sparklespew looked back, even more sparkly and still fingering the enchanting Nintendo Switch. "Blech, I like fat anime butts a whole-lot," she replied.

They looked at each other with afraid feelings, like two deafening, dead dingos singing at a very special the BEEF LIP'Z concert, which had jazz music playing in the background and two caring uncles bouncing to the beat.

Sparklespew studied Blech's scrawny tuchis and grubby derriere. Eventually, she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," began Sparklespew in apologetic tones, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never will. I just don't love you Blech."

Blech looked unstable, his emotions raw like a petite, pong piece of cardboard.

Sparklespew could actually hear Blech's emotions shatter into 8393 pieces. Then the peculiar friend hurried away into the distance.

Not even a drink of Mtn. Dew in a glove imported-from Manor Care would calm Sparklespew's nerves tonight.

THE END


	4. Chapter 4

DD looked at the magic hairball in his hands and felt surprised.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his grody surroundings. He had always loved dank Pittsburgh, home of Anthrocon with its lonely, loud literal feces on the ground. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel surprised.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather some _one_. It was the figure of Starfarts . Starfarts was a delightful a lizard with sticky tuchis and ugly pancreas.

DD gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a noble, friendly, Mtn. Dew in a glove imported-from Manor Care drinker with slimy tuchis and greasy pancreas. His friends saw him as a thundering, tasty the Kool Aid man. Once, he had even brought a tired sea kitten back from the brink of death.

But not even a noble person who had once brought a tired sea kitten back from the brink of death, was prepared for what Starfarts had in store today.

The rain hammered like bopping ibises, making DD anxious.

As DD stepped outside and Starfarts came closer, he could see the lazy glint in her eye.

"I am here because I want her death," Starfarts bellowed, in a greedy tone. She slammed her fist against DD's chest, with the force of 5832 emus. "I frigging hate you, DD ."

DD looked back, even more anxious and still fingering the magic hairball. "Starfarts, I'm gonna frickin'-kill you," he replied.

They looked at each other with shocked feelings, like two delicious, disturbed dingos talking at a very forgetful BEEF LIP'Z concert, which had jazz music playing in the background and two adorable uncles cooking to the beat.

Suddenly, Starfarts lunged forward and tried to punch DD in the face. Quickly, DD grabbed the magic hairball and brought it down on Starfarts's skull.

Starfarts's sticky tuchis trembled and her ugly pancreas wobbled. She looked stable, her body raw like a handsome, hollow Halloweenpumpkinapple.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Starfarts was dead.

DD went back inside and made himself a nice drink of Mtn. Dew in a glove imported-from Manor Care.

THE END


	5. Chapter 5

p style="font-family: Raleway, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 21.3333px; background-color: #e6e9ed;"Whilst investigating the death of a local spleen salesman, a crazy manorcare janitor called DD Bloggs uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, slimy axe circulating throughout BEEFLIPZ house. As soon as anyone uses the axe, he or she has exactly 399 days left to live./p  
p style="font-family: Raleway, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 21.3333px; background-color: #e6e9ed;"The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look skeletal. A marked person feels like a hot emu to touch./p  
p style="font-family: Raleway, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 21.3333px; background-color: #e6e9ed;"DD gets hold of the axe, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into her mind: a damp gibbon balancing on a wild spleen salesman, an old newspaper headline about a golfing accident, a hooded ibis ranting about spleen and a drinking well located in a slimy place./p  
p style="font-family: Raleway, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 21.3333px; background-color: #e6e9ed;"When DD notices her juggular vein have emu-like properties, she realises that the curse of the slimy axe is true and calls in her band mate and friend, a pro banan car racer called star farts, to help./p  
p style="font-family: Raleway, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 21.3333px; background-color: #e6e9ed;"star examines the axe and willingly submits himself to the curse. He finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the damp gibbon balancing on a wild spleen salesman particularly chilling. He joins the queue for a supernatural death./p  
p style="font-family: Raleway, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 21.3333px; background-color: #e6e9ed;"DD and star pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded ibis. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?/p 


End file.
